I’ve concluded that “sipping” a jade egg in with my vagina is bullshit. I didn’t always think it was bullshit- on the contrary I thought it would be a deeply healing practice for me. And it was but the “healing” came in the form of me realizing that it’s bullshit. It’s funny how things work sometimes.
Although I no longer really “believe in” yoni egg sipping, I’m still leaving up my previous blog post. I reserve the right to change my mind, especially as I’m still figuring out all this sexual healing stuff for myself.
Sipping may be a great practice for some people but it’s not for everyone. I didn’t conclude that it’s not for me because I got frustrated with it not working. I’m still just as woo-woo as I was before. I simply came to the conclusion that I can have conscious control over whether or not my vagina is ready to accept my jade egg.
After searching through the woo-woo spiritual side of sexual healing and spirituality, I became curious to see what science had to say. In the immortal words of Dr. Jane Foster, “Magic is just science we don’t understand yet.” So, I am willing to believe in eclectic and “out there” ideas because I have faith that one day the science will catch up.
In this case, the science is already here and has been for over 70 years. It’s simply been bastardized and watered down by the media. It’s impossible to draw any useful conclusions from most any article on kegels in Cosmo or similar publications.
However, I have been reading the original 7 research articles in their entirety (plus 1 academic letter to the editor) by Dr. Arnold H. Kegel (yes that Kegel!) and I find the original research to be much more fascinating and helpful than any trussed up magazine article.
When you understand all of the muscles in the pelvic floor (if I count correctly there are 12 in total; the “pelvic floor” is not just one muscle), and how they all work and are supposed to work when it comes to urinary continence and sexual function, it demystifies everything.
Sexual healing has become very much intertwined with spirituality and what I jokingly call the “woo-woo” side of things. It’s almost impossible to find anyone on the internet who works within the realm of sexual healing, trauma, and becoming multi-orgasmic without also encountering terms like divine feminine, yoni, inner goddess, etc.
I see this as both a good and bad thing.
On the one hand, the intertwining of sex and spirituality and all that good woo-woo stuff can be (and is) very beneficial to many people, myself included, for a variety of reasons. But on the flipside of that, I believe that this intertwining creates a false shroud of ornamental mystery. This not only does more harm than good but also alienates many other people who would benefit immensely from pelvic floor strengthening, mindfulness and meditation, slow sex, sensate focus, and sexual healing, be it in therapy or through a self-guided practice.
When sex and sexual healing has all of this mysticism attached to it, it’s very easy for it to become an “ancient secret,” something sexy and trendy, or worse, a fringe thing reserved only for us woo-woo people who are willing to believe in magic until the science catches up.
Or until you bother to look at the science for yourself.
I found in Dr. Kegel’s research that 30% of his patients were unable to consciously control their PC muscles. After reading his research and learning to do kegels correctly, I know that I am not in that 30% group.
Still, I drew my own conclusion that because I do have conscious control over my pelvic floor muscles, the yoni egg sipping practice is no longer for me. I, like the other 70% of Dr. Kegel’s patients, have a baseline of voluntary control over those muscles. I can decide whether to contract or to relax my vagina to let something inside.
However, I do still believe that vaginas can have a mind of their own sometimes. My shoulders have a mind of their own. I tend to hold them up rather than keeping them down and relaxed and I do this more than I realize. It’s not until I consciously remind myself to put my shoulders down that I realize they were ever up by my ears in the first place!
Vaginas can need our conscious reminder to relax too. And it certainly helps to have an empty bladder because most strong, well trained muscles are slightly contracted when resting, otherwise there would be incontinence, the problem Dr. Kegel worked to solve for his patients. A complete relaxing requires a conscious choice.
And I’m in charge of that, not my vagina.