Despite my last post about how I’m not totally into all the woo-woo shit surrounding jade eggs, the concept of reconnecting with our bodies after being disconnected from them for years, a lifetime even, is something that I felt I needed to explore and is one of the main reasons for my journey.
From what I’ve seen online from several other women on this topic is the idea that our vaginas (or yonis which is Sanskrit for wombspace), have been conditioned and “forced” to accept things entering inside regardless of whether or not “she” (meaning our vaginas) is actually ready. This could be anything from a toy or a penis, fingers (including our own), to tampons and even menstrual cups. During my last period, I decided to only use my menstrual cup for the first 2 days of bleeding and to only use cloth pads and interlabial pads after that. For my next cycle, I won’t be using my cup at all.
Menstrual cups are a popular alternative method of period care, especially among the spiritually inclined. They don’t carry a risk of TSS like tampons, unlike most pads and tampons, cups are bleach and fragrance free, they’re environmentally friendly and reusable, and they save you money. I love my menstrual cup and I’ve been using one for almost 4 years now since I was in high school. There’s nothing wrong with menstrual cups and if you use one that’s great, I’m not saying that using a cup or tampons is wrong. Do what feels right for you. As for myself however, for some reason I feel like taking a break from my cup is something I need to do along this journey.
The goal with doing this is to be able to learn to listen to my vagina. People talk a lot about listening to our bodies when it comes to the foods we eat and I think it can apply to our genitals as well as our stomachs. Part of me wonders if disconnecting from our vaginas and experiencing numbness as a result is directly related to our ability to listen to our vaginas when she says, “No. No visitors right now.”
I view it in the same way as being volun-told to do something. Sometimes people will ask for something from us and while technically it’s a question, they aren’t really asking. They wouldn’t respect our no if they heard it. After many occasions of this, we don’t even get why they bother asking anymore and we aren’t happy to do things for them even if it’s something we would otherwise enjoy doing.
I have a hunch that the same thing can happen with our vaginas. Instead of only allowing things into our vaginas when we are fully open and receptive, our vaginas get volun-told to accept things and then she just shuts down and goes numb even for things that would otherwise be very pleasurable. Sometimes it can be easier to just go along with whatever is going on rather than standing our ground and honoring our no.
Another way of doing this is called “sipping.” Sipping with a yoni egg, vaginal weight, toy, or penis is the practice of gently pressing the object or penis against the opening of the vagina and simply holding it there. Then, the vagina will “sip” or suck the object or penis inside. Or not. Either way, the practice of sipping is more about listening for a clear yes or honoring the no than it is about using the jade egg as exercise equipment.
I have yet to sip my jade egg inside me but I know that this is something I need to do for myself. For the past few days however, I was getting so frustrated and angry whenever I tried to sip my egg inside. Like I’ve said before, I oscillate between being super spiritual and rolling my eyes at all of the woo-woo stuff. So in addition to wanting to reconnect with my vagina, I also want to strengthen my pelvic floor, increase my natural wetness, and be able to experience vaginal orgasms. I was getting impatient. I wanted to get the egg in and get to work so I could see some results! I wanted to be able to write about my progress but I felt I wasn’t making any.
Reframing what progress means and de-emphasizing the results has helped me to shed the impatience and frustration. Instead of measuring progress based on how wet I get or how much weight I can lift with the jade egg, I’ve decided that progress means committing 30 minutes a day to a loving self-massage and just holding the egg at the entrance of my vagina. Even if the egg doesn’t go in.
I’ve also decided to do kegels and pelvic floor exercises without something inserted in my vagina for now. I know many women say that having something inside the vagina to provide resistance is crucial, and I agree, I also think that unweighted kegels are better than no kegels. Just like exercise, bodyweight exercise is better than no exercise even though you’ll likely need to add some weights eventually to continue progressing.
I’m not sure how long learning to sip my yoni egg will take but I’m definitely looking forward to when I can start using it to do my kegels. More importantly though, I’m eager to experience what a yes or no from my vagina actually feels like.